Lucas (Garrett Wareing), bothered by the restless mood of his girlfriend Lauren (Lizzy Greene), tells her that they need to talk and invites her to his house that night. Lauren, like most people, takes "we need to talk" as code for a breakup and goes to Lucas's house all nervous and worried. But when she steps in, she is surprised to see that Lucas has arranged a romantic movie night. What movie does he pick? Twilight. He excitedly speaks of Bella's dilemma between two boys, Edward and Jacob. Lauren, though, isn't as thrilled as her boyfriend. She squirms a little because she recognizes herself in Bella's conflict. Lauren, too, is torn between two boys: Lucas and his brother, Kit (Casey W. Johnson). Yet, Lauren isn't the only character who finds herself caught in a love triangle in this new season of Ransom Canyon. Yancy (Jack Schumacher) loves Ellie (Marianly Tejada), who is pregnant with his child, but his wife, Sidney (Heidi Grace Engerman), still wants to hold Yancy in her hands tightly like a prisoner she enjoys torturing (she isn't signing the divorce papers easily). And Quinn (Minka Kelly) is in a relationship with Oliver (Ben Robson), a musician she got together with in New York, though you can be sure she is still not over Staten (Josh Duhamel).
Why? Because, according to Ransom Canyon, Staten and Quinn are soulmates—they are meant to be. The series believes in this idea so strongly that it comes up with the lamest excuses to keep them apart for the whole runtime. Admittedly, one grows frustrated after a while. Oliver, by all means, is nothing short of a perfect guy. Quinn can happily live with him either in New York or in Ransom. He, after all, even agrees to move into the town permanently if it means getting to stay with Quinn. But if you have watched enough soap operas on TV, you would easily guess that this relationship won't last long. Staten is really the reason Quinn breaks up with Oliver, but the show never convinces you of it. It's one of those developments that's both predictable and lazy. Add to this the constant almost-patch-up-followed-by-temporary-breakup routine Quinn and Staten go through regularly, and you start praying to Cupid to stop shooting arrows toward these guys. Separate them once and for all—irrevocably. Spare us the repetitious theatrics.
The dull, boring drama in Ransom Canyon is devoid of life. Watching the show is equivalent to watching paint dry. Perhaps the most interesting thread this season involves a grift, since it has some serviceable twists. The makers, however, don't infuse the con game with giddy thrills. The twists unfold mechanically, as if someone were handing out pages from the script. It's a pity, given that this thread suggests the notion that everyone has a dark side. Ellie is taught how to perform cons by Yancy and Sidney, and the more she learns these lessons, the more she gets seduced by the logistics of the crime. It's a fascinating concept that the writers, nonetheless, fail to develop satisfactorily. They do not so much abandon it as throw it out carelessly. Then again, this is how most of Ransom Canyon plays out in its second outing. Instead of following a storyline to its conclusion logically, the makers alter the situations as well as the states of relationships as per their own whims—whims that are all about being a slave to prepackaged emotions and predetermined endings (the Quinn-Oliver-Staten thread is a solid example of this).
Visually, too, Ransom Canyon is eye-glazingly dull. The indifferent, impersonal compositions and chintzy color palettes drive every thought out of your head and put you to sleep. Even sex is tame, unsensual, unstimulating. Who's the target audience for this hooey? There is a music festival in a later episode, which Quinn works hard to organize. More than her efforts, however, the show places emphasis on the sweaty, muscular bodies. The camera bites its lip at the sight of men doing physical labor or showering. Their abs, biceps, and broad chests are displayed as delicious pieces of meat. "Great. Hot men everywhere," comments Ellie at one point. You can add "hot women everywhere" from your side. Because Ransom Canyon, ultimately, is about these attractive shapes kissing and colliding. One can, then, conclude that the target audience for Ransom Canyon is precisely the demographic that checks in for Desire-like raunchy rubbish: horny souls who don't mind sitting through listless storylines. To those people, I would just say that compared to Ransom Canyon, the sex scenes are somewhat better in Desire. There, have a hand-tastic time!
Final Score - [3/10]
Reviewed by - Vikas Yadav
Follow @vikasonorous on Twitter
Publisher at Midgard Times