The best — and worst — part of being a film critic is that you have to watch all films. Some movies make critics undergo some sort of divine experience, and some movies prove to be so frustrating that a critic feels like writing a resignation letter. The latter is what I wanted to do while sitting through The Last Goodbye, directed by Noah Tonga. The movie is like an overly sensitive person whose "sensitivity" is nothing more than an excuse to cover up their weakness. Almost every scene in The Last Goodbye lies at the extremes of sentimentality and mawkishness. This is unbearable, unwatchable sob stuff. Tonga moves you so much that I wanted to puke — I kept praying for the end credits to come. Some filmmakers make movies to make money, some like to tell a personal story, and some enjoy playing with the technique. Someone like Tonga, though, makes movies solely to make the audience cry. His "story" consists of emotional triggers; every plot point aims to reduce you to a bunch of whimpering teenagers. The Last Goodbye, with its puppy-dog cuteness, tries to look innocent. Complain and you might be called "heartless."
But someone with good taste and sense will shower The Last Goodbye with criticisms. The film's only virtue is that it says true love doesn't care about physical appearances, though that doesn't stop Tonga from inserting fat jokes here. When Heart (Daniela Stranner) casually punches Xavier (Matt Lozano), the latter falls from the bench, and we hear the sound of an elephant in the background. Someone comments that Xavier requires two chairs to sit, and his younger brother refers to him as "pig." Almost all of Xavier's classmates body-shame him, and this body-shaming gets exhausting very quickly. Like Banu in Letters from the Past, Xavier's entire identity is the size of his tummy. Both characters are defined primarily by their appetite and their struggle to live in a fat-shaming society. Xavier, then, can be considered the punching bag of this film. He is the winner of consolation prizes, the recipient of audience sympathy (only his parents do not make it to his graduation ceremony).
The Last Goodbye moves like an American teen comedy (there is a Mean Girls poster in Heart's room). There is a gay character, a popular boy who all the girls admire, and a prom event. The teacher, too, is as strict as she is in a comedy like this. I have never attended high school in the Philippines (I have never set foot in the Philippines), but The Last Goodbye feels like something that's artificially trying to imitate a different culture for the sake of...more visibility? The result can be both ostentatious and jarring. These concerns, however, pale in comparison to that cheap, WTF ending that's so clearly, openly emotionally manipulative it becomes the final nail in the coffin. Say goodbye to The Last Goodbye during its saccharine opening if you want to be happy and healthy. You are better off watching Mean Girls if you want to satisfy your craving for a high-school comedy.
Final Score- [1/10]
Reviewed by - Vikas Yadav
Follow @vikasonorous on Twitter
Publisher at Midgard Times