Sam Hargrave's Matchbox: The Movie ends with a spy named Sean Walker (John Cena) and a race driver named Aimee (Jessica Biel) driving a 1969 Super Camaro into the sunset. One of their friends, Crosby (Sam Richardson), points out the obvious and comments, "How original." This is nothing but Hargrave and writer David Coggeshall winking at the audience to say, "We know our action comedy is riddled with clichés." Aww, they know they are creatively bankrupt, and they wear their bankruptcy like a badge of honor! How sweet of them! Perhaps next time, they can actually try to be creative rather than using movies as confessional boxes for their, well, uninteresting admissions. Even their "we know we are recycling the wheel" nod is another big cliché. Many directors employ it as a self-referential joke so that they can drive self-satisfied, unoriginal, unimaginative vehicles. The logic generally seems to be that it's okay to be mediocre as long as you are able to make fun of your mediocre ambitions. Build a self-defense mechanism into your film and save yourself from criticism. How so very clever!
If only some of that "cleverness" had gone into the writing and filmmaking as well, Hargrave and Coggeshall wouldn't have to unnecessarily wink at the audience. But even if one were to deliberately lower oneself to Matchbox's level, one would still end up pretty disappointed. Hargrave has done some fine work executing slick action sequences in Extraction. Who can forget those seemingly one-shot, unbroken sequences? Nothing in Matchbox ever comes close to that virtuosity (even if it's a marker of empty vanity) or slickness. The action in Hargrave's new film has all the appeal and polish of watching toy cars banging into walls and each other. When a truck flies off a bridge and crashes to the ground, only to explode in a ball of fire, Hargrave slows the sequence down during the fall to gaze at the sight with all the giddiness of a young boy throwing his small plastic truck from a bed or a table.
Then again, this shouldn't seem very surprising given that the movie is based on a Mattel toy. Car go vroom, car go boom, bike go whiz, helicopter go thump, helicopter go boom. Mommy, Mommy, please get me new Matchbox toys from Mattel. Cool people play with them, and they turn out to develop a long-lasting friendship because of them. Sean returns to his home after 20-plus years, but he and his friends, who played with Matchbox toys as kids, immediately get comfortable around one another, as if Sean has merely returned from a work trip lasting a few weeks or, at best, a few months. What's more, only real romantics gift a rare-edition 1969 Super Camaro toy car to their girlfriends. A mechanic refers to a young Sean, played by Graham Harvey, as a true romantic when he tells him that he is going to give that Camaro to his crush. Mommy, Mommy, quick! Buy me a 1969 Super Camaro, for I want to impress my girlfriend!
The whole movie is a marketing ploy, a sales advertisement dressed up as an action adventure. Its sole virtue might just be its charming actors, who, it seems, end up having more fun than us. Cena has always had a sweet, funny, likable presence. He goes through the same motions yet again, but he is nonetheless adorable. Richardson, Arturo Castro, and Teyonah Parris, on the other hand, are blandly delightful, while Biel simply gets the job done. Golshifteh Farahani, however, leaves a strong enough impression on you with her brief appearance. With her smoky eyes and seductive demeanor, she kisses Sean and sensuously runs her lips over Aimee's knuckles. She also grabs a man's gun, points it at her chest, and dares him to shoot her. Here is a woman fully aware of her powers and her influence. She confidently looks death in the face and makes it blush. Farahani is utterly remarkable; she definitely deserved a movie worthy of her. But then, one can say the same about the other talented actors as well. They are all trapped in the same pit—they all deserved better.
Final Score - [4/10]
Reviewed by - Vikas Yadav
Follow @vikasonorous on Twitter
Publisher at Midgard Times
Premiere Date: October 9, 2026, on Apple TV