When reviews of Madame Web first started appearing on the Internet, some people compared this S. J. Clarkson film with Morbius. Reactions like, "Madame Web is as terrible as Morbius," became common online. But I disagree with this comparison. I think Madame Web is much better than Daniel Espinosa's superhero disaster. Of course, the problem with this statement is that it's not a compliment. The bar is very, very low if you are using Morbius for assessment. So, saying that Madame Web is more watchable than that 2022 dud doesn't mean this S. J. Clarkson debacle has exceptional qualities.
What instantly becomes grating about Madame Web is the dialogues that come out of the mouths of the characters. They sound cheap - almost juvenile. You feel as if the lines are written by a teenager who has only watched Marvel movies. Thus, your ears bear the pain of listening to forced Marvel-ish humor where serious situations are deflated with a joke or a funny remark. One can sense that the actors, too, are uncomfortable with their lines, which further makes things embarrassing.
The movie opens with a pregnant Constance Webb (Kerry Bishé) seen through the web of a spider. Her daughter, Cassandra (Dakota Johnson), is also often framed behind cracked glasses that resemble those spider webs. This visual achieves a superheroic meaning when magical, yellow lines emerge from Cassandra's body...like a web. Yet, the images in Madame Web are superficial and empty. The scene where Cassandra, in a hurry, takes a patient to a hospital is shot haphazardly. The quick cuts, and the swift motion, don't convey a sense of thrill or urgency. The bland images simply depict the ongoing events without infusing them with emotions or even ecstasy - something you typically experience while watching superheroes perform miracles or beat up bad guys. And I will just ignore the fact that there is a scene here where three girls dance on a table in front of some boys. What were the filmmakers thinking?
Julia Cornwall (Sydney Sweeney), Anya Corazon (Isabela Merced), and Mattie Franklin (Celeste O'Connor) are reduced to dim kids. Their job is to end up in trouble so Cassandra can save them. There is a parent-child relationship between Cassandra and the three teens. All four of them are separated from their real families, so a familial bond is created between these ladies. This relationship, however, merely services the plot and is devoid of genuine feelings. Their team spirit is artificial, awkward, and unconvincing.
A feeble Tahar Rahim fails to generate menace. Zosia Mamet merely looks at computer screens and taps some keys. Only two moments stir up amusement, albeit briefly. One has Cassandra checking if she can walk on walls and ceilings, while the other involves an ambulance hitting Ezekiel Sims (Rahim). Madame Web renders its story insignificant. Nothing on the screen seems worth your time or energy. The events it depicts look uninteresting. I wanted to see that version of Madame Web where Julia, Anya, and Mattie, along with Cassandra, wear their costumes and eliminate threats from their city. That version of this film appears fleetingly, and it at least looks promising. You can say that Madame Web, ultimately, is a teaser for a seemingly superior film.
Final Score- [4/10]
Reviewed by - Vikas Yadav
Follow @vikasonorous on Twitter
Publisher at Midgard Times